r e l e a s e (zahra/open)

[mrpotter]

Classes had ended for the day, and instead of going to dinner like the rest of his peers, James found himself outside in the frozen garden. For the first time since his mother's death in January he had begun to feel emotions instead of feeling entirely numb, the weight was so heavy, it was so hard for him to handle. James kneaded his forehead with his knuckles, sinking his teeth into his lower lip as he walked through the gardens. He came to a stop by the snow-laden rose bushes and finally found the months of not feeling anything catch up to him.

James sank to his knees in the snow. The rose bushes reminded him of his mother, of the ones she had tended to in the front yard to make their house quite pretty during the late spring through mid summer... How frustrated she used to get when the roses would wilt in July, no matter how fiercely she gardened... Tears came to James' eyes, and for the first time in a long while he did not blink them away, but rather let them build up and then slowly roll down his cheeks. James wrapped his arms around himself to keep warm and closed his eyes, shaking, though not entirely from cold.

[gooddontalwayswin]

Bella had skipped dinner that evening, hoping that she would not get hungry later. Feeling far too tired to brave the Slytherin dormitory, she ventured out into the garden. Bella didn't normally go out there because she wasn't really the flowery type of girl, but that evening she thought the snow on the bushes looked rather pretty.

She didn't notice James until it was too late to duck back out of the enclosed area. Bella began to smile, but then noticed that he was crying. Not caring if her robes and cloak got soaked by the snow, she lowered herself down to a sitting position next to him. "Are you alright?" Bella asked, feeling bad for her housemate. She hadn't been there the night that Ginny was murdered, but with Isabelle gloating about it, she felt as though she might as well have been. Bella wanted to vomit when she thought about it.

[mrpotter]

James flinched, he had been expecting to be alone. Ashamed of his tears, he turned his head away, boys weren't supposed to cry- At least not where other people could see them do so. He cleaned off his face with the sleeve of his robes and sniffed once before looking back at Bellatrix. "I'm fine," James said hoarsly, gaze traveling away from the girl. He probably hadn't felt less fine since being attacked in July, but he didn't like discussing the intricate details of his life with others. Besides, anyone that could read had probably heard of his mtoher's death through the Daily Prophet articles.

[gooddontalwayswin]

No you're not, Bellatrix thought, but she refused to let herself say the words aloud for fear of offending James, who already looked as though he wished that Bella wasn't present. "Look, I'm sorry about your mom," Bella said kindly after a moment's pause. If she had considered herself to be friends with James, Bella might've given him a hug, but at that point, it would have just been awkward, so Bella stayed put, hoping James wouldn't just brush her away like everyone else.

[mrpotter]

James nodded. He opened his mouth to speak, but found that the words got lost somewhere between his brain and his tongue, so he promptly closed it again, remaining quiet. The moment felt increasingly awkward to the youth, he had wanted to be alone, but couldn't bring himself to say anything along the lines of that to Bella, especially since she was one of the few people that was kind to him. James' eyes still stung, but he was not going to allow himself to cry in front of his acquaintance.

[gooddontalwayswin]

Not for the first time, Bella wished that she had nothing to do with the Death Eaters. It was times like these when she felt personally responsible for a death, though she hadn't even been there when Ginny Weasley had been murdered. That had all been Isabelle's doing. Still, Bella felt as though she had contributed to the death of James' mom, and that made her suddenly feel like she wanted to die.

[mrpotter]

James wished he had the will to conjure words, anything, it didn't even have to be a meaningful speech, just something to say that would break the silence around them. He was starting to be aware of the fact of how cold it was, but could not bring himself to get up and head back inside. No, there were too many people there.

[gooddontalwayswin]

The snow was starting to melt through Bella's robes, but she didn't care all that much at the moment. She wanted to do something to comfort James, but her mind could not come up with anything at the moment. She suddenly wished that she had been there when Isabelle had killed Ginny. Bella had a wild thought that maybe she would've been able to do something to stop the evil witch, though she knew it would have been impossible. She wished that she could've tried, though, instead of being a coward and standing in the shadows.